shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
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why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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