And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
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I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I can't turn off my feet"
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I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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