She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I just want to make out with him forever
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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