my vag is so smooth its legendary
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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