I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize