We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
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Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
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What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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