another moral hangover. fuck.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize