Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize