she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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