She is in my trunk
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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