I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found the puke drawer
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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