Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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