meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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