It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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