P.S. I can't hear my feet
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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