Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
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When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I'm just crazy horny about you
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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