I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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