Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I want her autograph on my taint
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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