all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize