Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
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I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
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drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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