I smell stomach acid.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
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I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
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But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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