the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
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Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
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Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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