I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize