So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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