I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
my god I love twenty year old dicks
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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