3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
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just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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