I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
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