I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
When are your genitals available?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize