Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
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I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
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Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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