I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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