we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Randomize