he wants to bone in the snuggie
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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