If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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