Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
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This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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