8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
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