would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
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Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
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I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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