Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
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