Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
The uberlube is also flammable
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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