yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
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he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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