i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
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His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
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The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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