I wish I could punch you in the face.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
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He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
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You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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