she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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