normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize