I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Randomize