I hate all girls vehemently.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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