'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
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