you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have aggressive nipples.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
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