1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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