I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Come see our sink grown plant.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
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