Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
No stitches, just platelets and will power
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize